These come from a 13-year-old, but they were actually said in David’s presence.  We took the kids on an outing this weekend, and the girls got to bring friends (David was promised he could bring a friend another time, since we only had so much room in the minivan).  Oldest Daughter’s friend begins to talk about the movie The Orphan, which I have not seen, but have heard is horrible in many different ways.

She starts out by screeching, “I am never going to adopt a child!”

Thick, charged silence fills the van.  DH and I go completely tense.  Nobody says anything.

She continues, “I thought I wanted to adopt kids when I was older, but I saw this movie, The Orphan, and it was the scariest movie I’ve ever seen!  It’s about this family who adopts this girl…”

Well, we all know what The Orphan is about.  It’s one of those when-you-adopt-a-kid-you’re-not-getting-what-you-think-you’re-getting alarmist fantasies.  The adopted orphan turns out to be a psychopathic killer (*yawn*).

She goes on to tell all about the movie in depth and detail.  I know that David is still awake in the very back, and this girl is in the middle.  We didn’t know what to say to her, if it would make it worse to say something like, “Well, adoption worked out all right for us.”  Maybe we should have.  We let her go on until we stopped the car to drop off the other friend, finally putting an end to it.

Talking about it later, DH and I were completely flabbergasted that this friend would have said something so insensitive…I mean, starting off the conversation with that declaration…just, wow.  The girl knows David’s adopted.  David’s 6, and we’ve lived in this town for 10 and a half years.  Everyone knows he’s adopted.

DH said that we can’t protect David from this sort of thing, that’s he’s going to have to learn to deal with insensitivity.  But he’s only 6.  I want to protect him.  I still don’t know if I should say something to this girl, but I probably won’t.  I don’t think she meant anything by it, and when she grows up, she’ll make her decisions based on real considerations,  not on what a scary movie told her.

The irony is that this girl is, herself, adopted.  Her stepfather adopted the girl and her sister last year.  They changed their last names and everything.  I wish I’d thought to say that at the time.